Cooking Quotes

Humorous Quotes About Cooking & Foods

• When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. --Gail Sheehy


• I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. --Katherine Cebrian


• There is such a buildup of crud in my oven there is only room to bake a single cupcake. --Phyllis Diller


• The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it. --Andy Rooney


• It's so beautifully arranged on the plate -- you know someone's fingers have been all over it. --Julia Child on nouvelle cuisine


• When compelled to cook, I produce a meal that would make a sword swallower gag. --Russell Baker


• Life is too short to stuff a mushroom. --Storm Jameson


• The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. --Calvin Trillin


• I prefer my oysters fried; That way I know my oysters died. --Roy G. Blount, Jr.


• God sends meat and the devil sends cooks. --Thomas Deloney (1543-1600)


• There is no sincerer love than the love of food. --George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)


• The most dangerous food is wedding cake. --American proverb


• Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. --G. K. Chesterson (1874-1936)


• Recipe For Chili: Put a pot of chili on the stove to simmer. Let it simmer. Meanwhile, broil a good steak. Eat the steak. Let the chili simmer. Ignore it. --Allan Shivers, former governor of Texas


• Nachman's Rule: When it comes to foreign food, the less authentic the better. --Gerald Nachman


• Isn't there any other part of the matzo you can eat? --Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962) after having eaten matzo ball soup three times in a row.


• No one is lonely while eating spaghetti. --Robert Morley


• A louse in the cabbage is better than no meat at all. --Pennsylvania Dutch proverb

Cooking Quotes Continued


• I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead. --Woody Allen


• We didn't starve, but we didn't eat chicken unless we were sick, or the chicken was. --Bernard Malamud (1914-1986)


• Blow in its ear. --Johnny Carson on the best way to thaw out a frozen turkey


• Eating an artichoke is like getting to know someone really well. --Willi Hastings


• Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. --Alex Levine


• In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait. --Jose Simon


• Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. --Mark Twain (1835-1910)


• I prefer Hostess® fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require so much cooking. --Carrie Snow


• The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again. --George Miller


• My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with. --Oprah Winfrey


• Where there's smoke, there's toast. --Anon


• My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked. --Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)


• Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. --W. C. Fields (1880-1946)


• The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. --Garrison Keillor


• I no longer prepare food or drink with more than one ingredient. --Cyra McFadden


• I don't eat snails. I prefer fast food. --Strange de Jim